Durham Family Law Blog

Change your children's custody plan when they outgrow its terms

You want what's best for your children, but what they need will likely change over time. Just because the courts ratified an agreement for custody doesn't mean your kids won't grow out of it.

Sharing responsibility with your former partner can be an essential part of making sure your children grow up happy and healthy after a divorce. But an outdated strategy can get in the way of that - and sometimes you need to readjust the details to ensure your deal still works.

Can my military status hurt my chances for child custody?

One of the biggest concerns for military parents going through divorce is child custody. A career in the military is inherently unpredictable, and service members may be reassigned to a new location at a moment's notice. In a child custody case, this lack of stability may create challenges for military parents hoping to get primary custody of their kids.

Here are some core things you should know about child custody for military parents in North Carolina:

What to know about the collaborative divorce process

The desired result of a collaborative divorce is to resolve disputes; troubleshoot and problems solve issues that will result in the settling of a divorce. The reasoning behind choosing a collaborative divorce is that this process allows couples to resolve their disputes on their terms. Doing so eliminates them having to begrudgingly accept the judge's decision because a resolution has already been agreed upon.

If you were to stray away from the collaborative process, the judge will be a stranger to your personal situations and will make their lasting decisions solely on what they hear throughout a few hours of testimony. Here are some points to keep in mind when it comes to making a decision around collaborative divorce:

Five self-care tips when dealing with divorce

When you entered into your marriage, you more than likely had not thought about divorce. Unfortunately, relationships and marriages don’t always work out. Divorce can leave you struggling to navigate various emotions, including grief, anger, sadness and potentially relief.

Divorce brings additional stressors to an already overwhelming life, so it may feel as if your life is quickly falling apart. The financial repercussions of divorce and the sudden change in your relationship status can lead to a tumultuous time. If the dissolution of your marriage leaves you feeling lost and out of control, there are some steps you can take to protect your mental and emotional health.

Three tips to help your kids through the divorce

Regardless of whether a divorce ends up in court or a collaborative negotiation, it is still stressful. After divorce, spouses have to adjust to a new life. 

However, it is critical to remember that children experience this stress as well and that divorce is no easier for them. Here are some tips on how to help kids through the divorce process.

Are blended families resolving family law issues before marriage?

When a couple's divorce is finalized, as are their property division and child support agreements, they may think it is the end of the family law issues that must be resolved. For many it might be. But those Durham parents who get married again have a number of issues they should think of before tying the knot. A blended family, a family that includes married or cohabiting stepparents, has to think about their child custody agreement and how that step will affect their children.

It is important to tread lightly with stepchildren and half-siblings-no child should feel he or she is being treated differently from the other. This could be in terms of attention or in terms of finances. Children need to feel safe in their environment and need a nurturing environment from all adults involved to achieve their potential.

How to remain close to your children after divorce

Dads are a significant figure in a child’s life; they become role models to their children and guide them through their early childhood. Without a father’s guidance, your child would likely be a completely different person.

But some dads find the role of “father” especially difficult after a divorce. You spend less time with them and adopt new responsibilities as a single parent. But dads do not have to suffer because of their divorce.

Five most stressful jobs for married couples

Most adults try to balance their career and personal life. They don't want to fall back in their company, but they also want to maintain healthy relationships with the people they love the most, including their spouse. Unfortunately, some jobs make that balance a challenge.

The broad and diverse realm of family law

As is clear from prior select blog posts of our established firm, Ellis Family Law (with dual North Carolina offices in Durham and Pittsboro) has a prominent collaborative-divorce focus among its designated practice areas. Our April 22 blog entry recently underscores that.

As important as collaborative divorce and other so-called “alternative dispute resolution” processes can be for some divorcing parties, they comprise but a sliver – though a significant one – of a large family law universe. That realm encompasses impressively wide-ranging subject matter, which also commands the close scrutiny of Ellis Family Law’s deep legal team.

Collaborative divorce can change a relationship without ending it

It is often taken for granted that a divorcing couple cannot stand one another – that fighting is predictable and inevitable. But while many divorces take this tone (for obvious reasons), some are far more peaceful. Former couples want to remain friends and co-parents, but they just don’t want to be married to each other anymore.

For marriages ending peacefully and on relatively good terms, collaborative divorce is an ideal scenario. Unlike litigated divorce, which is adversarial by nature, collaborative divorce typically allows couples to remain on good terms throughout the process so that they can transition to a new kind of relationship with one another post-divorce.

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