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Love on the Rocks

On Behalf of | Jan 18, 2025 | Family Law

Valentine’s Day can be tough for those who may be in a marriage that invokes no such celebration or romantic notion. What do you do if the love is gone or your partner refuses professional help to salvage the relationship? Do you care enough to salvage the relationship anymore? Choosing to end a marriage is an incredibly challenging decision to make, regardless of the reason. The right family law professional can help ensure that the legal and financial aspects of this decision are cared for, but there are important practical actions you should take as well.

Engage Your Support System

When considering a separation, it can often feel like the people in your life will judge you or feel caught in the middle and want to retreat until all is done. While you may have that experience with some people, you will likely find that many care about you and your ability to move forward. After the initial challenge of the separation is behind them, clients often tell us that they were pleasantly surprised by the support they received from friends, family, and colleagues for their decision to separate. Choose one or two trusted people to confide in. This is also a good time to engage the services of a therapist, even for just a few sessions, to get the insight of an objective, trained professional.

Get Your Finances in Order

One of the most challenging aspects of a separation is finances. It is important to try to learn what you can about your financial and retirement accounts, investments, any debts you may have. If you and your spouse used a financial advisor, you can meet with the advisor alone to learn what exists and how your money is working. Also, make a projected budget to determine your living expenses for your new life. The more educated you can be the more in control you will feel.

Transitions for Children

If there are children from your relationship, it is crucial to ensure that children feel protected and organized during this transition. Do not talk to your children about the specifics of why, but share the details of how their lives will look when the separation occurs. Make a decision with your coparent regarding a schedule, even one that is just temporary, and make it clear to your children where they will be and when so they know what to expect. Also, inform important adults in your children’s lives, i.e., therapists, teachers and coaches, of your separation so they can support your children. Keep the conversation kid focused, not focused on the relationship or your co-parent.

A New Life

It is hard to muster the strength to end a relationship, but if you believe that separation is best for you, once the transition is complete, a new chapter can begin with renewed hope of tomorrow’s possibilities. Remember, you cannot create your new life until you let go of your current. Only you can decide if taking that step feels right for you.

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